Knock Knock Why are you knocking? I have a doorbell.

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If a midget is mentally retarded and always late for work, is it okay to call him a little tardy?

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How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

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What did the twin towers get at the pizza place? 2 planes

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why did jimmy fall off the swing? because he was a tree.

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Why did dan jump off of the empire state building? -Because Carl pushed him off.

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Why do women where make-up and perfume? because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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why did the boy buy a dirty magizine? he should not have, its been on the floor. who wants to read the rolling stone magizine if it has dirt on it. how dumb of him.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

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Knock Knock Who's There Ur Mom Ur Mom Who Ur Mom is Dead

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Justin Littleton getting laid.

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What do you call a fish without an eye? fsh.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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What did your father say before he died? Nothing, he's already dead

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what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

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Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Raped

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What do you get when you cross Arsene Wenger with Darth Vader? Arsene Vader

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How do I recover from my Pokémon addiction? Catch 'em All!

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why did the 14 year old girl cross the road? to get an abortion of the child she became impregnated with after getting raped.

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why did the chicken cross the road.

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How do you know when a Mexican has died? Well based on the large mass of people inside and outside the funeral home who mostly seem to be of a mexican background and cultue, it would be safe to say that those are his/her friends and family who care deeply about them and therefore you could conclude that a Mexican person probably passed away. It's actually quite sad and going to be a rough few days for those closely connected to the person who died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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