Aodhan Hearty

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I don't hate you because you're fat. You're fat because I hate you

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How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How do you start up a good conversation? Wanna have a good conversation?

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What did the Pillow say to the Blanket? Nothing. Inanimate objects do not contain the ability to speak, therefore they could not possibly say anything to each other.

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What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus doesn't exist. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid, you're standing right next to me!"

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What did the mother give her family for christmas? Nothing. The family is Jewish.

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What is shorter than a toddler? A jewish lifespan.

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Why did the kid fail the test? Because he was retarded.

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which of the following is right -the yoke is white -the yoke are white neither the yoke is yellow

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a guys was walking down the street in Queens. a attractive young woman walked by. He was interested in here so he said nice things and they ended up going on a date. She had a big butt.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? I don't cum on my watermelon before I eat it.

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How did two Jews react when they saw a quarter on the sidewalk? They agreed to donate it to charity.

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What time is it? 10:58

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A very busty blond and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender asks with a smile, "What'll be today, pastor?" "Wine. please."

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Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Well it's really nice.

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YO momma is so fat she suffers from cardiovascular illnesses.

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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A. Knock-knock. B. Who's there? A. Hey, your doorbell's broken.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

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What did the vegetarian eat for christmas? Food.

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"You know what they say about people with big swords." What do they say? Man that's a big sword.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops