Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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why did the boy buy a dirty magizine? he should not have, its been on the floor. who wants to read the rolling stone magizine if it has dirt on it. how dumb of him.

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What do you call a black guy that sings? A singer.

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what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

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Freedom of Speech

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What did your father say before he died? Nothing, he's already dead

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Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Raped

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the man jump off the bridge? He was clinically depressed and wanted to commite suicide

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Q: Whats worse than having a dead car battery? A: Going to prison and getting raped by a black guy

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Your mom is so stupid that... She often makes mistakes.

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why do black people like basketball? because it envolves running shooting and stealing

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How do I recover from my Pokémon addiction? Catch 'em All!

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why did the chicken cross the road.

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What do you get when you cross Arsene Wenger with Darth Vader? Arsene Vader

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why did the 14 year old girl cross the road? to get an abortion of the child she became impregnated with after getting raped.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

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a horse walks into a barn

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why is there a hole in the wall, i hope a prehistoric mole doesnt come out of that hole in the ball CC

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A blond is stranded on a desert island when she finds a magic lamp. Except it's actually a rock and she is hallucinating due to dehydration and starvation.

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Why are white people typically not as good at basketball as black people? They don't have the hard work and dedication as those who are better.

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28

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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