- Anti Joke

Q:Whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead baby? A:The dog has skidmarks in front of it -RDV

When life gives you lemons. You make beef stew. #andymilinokis

Costello: Who's on first Joe Girardi: Mark Teixeira

A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what do you want to drink" the guy says "a blue moon"

Q: how do you spell apple without any letters? A: you can't.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a predator and crossing the road led it away from it's pursuer.

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

What is a grammatically incorrect equestrian? An stallion.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cats dont talk.

What do you get when you cross an owl with a bunge cord? My ass!

What happens when you touch a curling iron to your arm? You get burned.

ekoj

A man and his son are in a store, the man says to his son, "That candy bar has your name on it." The son replies, "I wish that you didn't name me Butterfingers." The dad answers, "I wish that you were never born."

...........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................a gay baby was just born.

What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

What's the difference between a zebra and a newspaper? Everything.

Why did a guy with a lisp, v-neck, and piercings pee while sitting down? His joints hurt.

Why do birds suddenly appear? If you were more observant, you would notice they usually approach gradually.

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To hold their pants up.

Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

What do you call a old guy watching little kids in a pool? a life guard

The chicken crossed the road.

Why was Brother Jim so loyal to god? Because he had a harpoon through his anal cavity.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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