A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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What does a good joke get for Christmas? no laughs.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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Three blind men walk into a bar but they were unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from them would be exploitative.

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What does chuck norris do at 4 o clock in the morning ? Sleep

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody. Nobody who?

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Penis

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Knock knock Who's there? FBI

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How did the guy drown if he wasn't in water? A shark threw up on him

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CHEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has psychotic tendencies.

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Why did the black guy walk into the supermarket and buy 100 bananas? Because he works at the zoo you racist!

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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Q: What is Paul's nickname A: His name is Paul, he doesn't need a nickname

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What does a man like. food.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms.

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¿Por qué seis de los siete miedo? ¡Porque siete ocho nueve!

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Benevolent villain.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

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abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.

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if it's friday, it must be China

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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Nero, what if you are using me now? Manipulating me? You think I enjoy falling in love after chatting with you in a site which is not even meant for chatting? You can do that, you are a "facilitator", I don't care as much for point zero, as I do care about you, hell, if things where different, id quit the whole thing to stay with you! I could say I will never forgive you if you make me feel safe by your side, accept your help only to get stabbed in the back for trusting you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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