Why did the girl's cat fall from the ceiling? Because she didn't use enough tape.

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Knock knock! "It's unlocked"

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if you are what you eat then arent pornstars considered vaginas?

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Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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What did the cowboy say to the alien? Nothing, this is a dream. Wake up.

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Your mom is so fat, her pants are starting to get tight.

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Knock knock. Whos there? To get to the other side.

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Hey! did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she...

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Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

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A black policeman and a white policeman work different shifts, one is during the day and one is at night and the both get equal pay.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

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I like to eat.

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wanna hear a joke?... Womens rights

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Why does Michael Jackson like K-mart? He does not; he is dead.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding, Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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A women walks out of a kitchen.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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What did David say to Goliath? Not sure, does anyone have a Bible?

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roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at rimes, refridgerator.

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Why did our black president put a porch swing on the white house? He likes to swing.

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whats worse the being in a car crash? finding out that your mother and father were in the other car and were fatally injured.

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Your Mama is so poor. I begin to worry about you and your familys' finacial situation.

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If a midget is mentally retarded and always late for work, is it okay to call him a little tardy?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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