What did Helen Keller say when she fell out of a tree? SHFVDHGCIJCBSHG

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? I stapled it to the first monkey!

Why can't Hank swim? Hank is a rock

If a midget is mentally retarded and always late for work, is it okay to call him a little tardy?

Why was the truck covered in blood? The chicken tried crossing the road

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was about to get raped.

How did the jew reply to the racist comment? Judaism is not a race, it's a religion.

I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

I'm ginger no more needs to be said...

What do you get when you cross a porcupine with party balloons? Unhappy kids

What did Sally get for Christmas? Nothing, Sally is dead

A chicken walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll it be?" His friends are very concerned about his sanity.

One day, Little Timmy asked his mother this question, "Mommy, why are boys and girls different?" She responded, "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead."

Duncan Traywick is hilarious.

If John has 50 candy bars, and he eats 45, how many cadybars does John have? Diabetes, John has diabetes.

-What do you get when you graph the division of x by the square root of 69? - I don't know, what? -I was asking you, as my family's low economic status hinders my ability to buy a graphing calculator.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his 8th birthday? Prosthetic arms and legs.

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Hypothetical questions are a waste of time and you are not achieving your full potential by reading this during work.

What do you call a black guy that sings? A singer.

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

hi ....................... oh i thought this was a chat room !!!!!!!

What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

Your Mamma is so poor that she begs for money.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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