A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

What does chuck norris do at 4 o clock in the morning ? Sleep

Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody. Nobody who?

Penis

how do you know if a chinese man has been in you house? your homework is done

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, your dad having sex with your girlfriend

How did the guy drown if he wasn't in water? A shark threw up on him

Knock knock Who's there? FBI

CHEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has psychotic tendencies.

Why did the black guy walk into the supermarket and buy 100 bananas? Because he works at the zoo you racist!

What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

What does a man like. food.

Q: What is Paul's nickname A: His name is Paul, he doesn't need a nickname

josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

¿Por qué seis de los siete miedo? ¡Porque siete ocho nueve!

Benevolent villain.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

if it's friday, it must be China

What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

A van drives into a car.

What is black blue and screaming? Your daughter when i kicked the shit out of her

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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