Why did the chicken cross the road? I kicked it.

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What's the difference between a black man and a monkey? Millions of years of evolution

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven beats his wife.

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Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

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Please don't rape me.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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whats better than a dead baby..... wait..... whats worse than a dead baby...... never mind its not that funny anymore

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What is Jason? Black.

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Lets make like trees and stand still

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What did little Robbie get for Christmas? AIDS

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Fish for a man, he has food for tonight. Teach a man how to fish and he will have one more skill under his belt.

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If you look up stupid in the dictionary the definition would say stu·pid? ?[stoo-pid, styoo?] -er, -est, noun adjective 1. lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull. 2. characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless: a stupid question. 3. tediously dull, especially due to lack of meaning or sense; inane; pointless: a stupid party. 4. annoying or irritating; troublesome: Turn off that stupid radio. 5. in a state of stupor; stupefied: stupid from fatigue.

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Woman : Child,what time is it? Child : I'm not a kid, I Broccoli.

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How did the guy drown if he wasn't in water? A shark threw up on him

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why did the football coach go to the bank? to make a deposit into his account

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Bing

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What has nine arms and sucks? An appendage-rich octopus with an inhaling habit.

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A blonde girl walks into a screen door. She is blind.

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What's worse than anti-joke.com? Non-anti-joke.com! Louis

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Your mother is so fat that unfortunately she can not fit into her picture for her passport and is not allowed to leave the country to go visit her dying mother.

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What do you call 2 black men sitting on a porch? Craig and Smokey

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Why did the Jewish man kill his wife? Who cares.

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Knock Knock Business Man: Who's There? Al Qeada Business Man: Al Qeada who? Al Qeada is flying an airplane into your building Then a commercial airplane flew into the oddly placed door on the 95th floor of the North Tower. That's how 9/11 happened. Have a nice day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops