What's the only part of a vegetable that you can't eat??? His wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Chocolate tastes good.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

what is the worst thing in the galaxy? runing out of dr.pepper :(

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Q: What's annoying and doesn't smoke? A: AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What do you call a cow with big horns? A bull.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why was the blond looking at the orange juice box? Because she was reading the nutritional content of orange juice.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

thumb_up thumb_down +43

why did the mother beat the young boy? Because he was adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road? it said WALK.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call a black person in 1780? A slave mostly...

thumb_up thumb_down +37

im jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Saddam Hussein is the father of the mothers of all cultchies.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

That's what he said.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why does my girlfriend pee standing up? Because he is a man.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

nice shorts.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A farmer goes out to the coop to feed the chickens. They're all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

So Mel Gibson walks into a bar, and then everyone left.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. - You don't need to because N and O are already together. - Then maybe a cyber-relationship would work. - Why ? - Look at your keyboard, U and I are next to each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did Ashley run out of juice in her house? Because she drank it all!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops