How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

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How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

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What do you call a Russian civil war? A war in which one side wants to seced from the other.

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Why are blonds so stupid? Because our society is insecure and we need a common denominator to pick on, so we can feel more comfortable with our mediocre lives.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was A bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy went through chemo. Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy was he?

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Why did the little girl fail her test? She had mental retardation.

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Why couldn't the woman go grocery shopping? She was paralyzed from the neck down.

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I am black.

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You're so straight!

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So I walked upstairs and I told the guy, "No." And he then asks, "Why?"

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Why was the baseball player arrested after stealing a base? Because he pulled out a knife and stabbed the shortstop in the chest.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

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What do You call a black porn star from alaska? By their first or full name depending on your relationship with them and the situation.

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What did Bobby get for Christmas? Nothing, Bobby is an orphan and has no friends.

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have mental problems Doobah haga Blakatrabbit

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STOP LOOKING AT MY JOKE

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What do you call a retarded man? Nothing, because it's inappropriate to call retarded people names.

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"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

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How many jews can you fit in a buick? 6...only if you squeeze 4 in the back.

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'Hey do you know a joke?' 'No' 'Me too'

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A man walks into a bar. [Insert punchline here.]

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Yo' mama so stupid, she has a lower IQ than the average person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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