A Man walks into a bar and orders a scotch. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart

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what did the man with no legs get for Christmas? A piano

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a women picks up her phone and screams! There were 3 missed calls from her mother-inlaw

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What do you call a black person in a pool? A black person swimming.

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One time I was playing hide and seek with grandma but I couldn't seem to find her. I asked my sister for help and she told me she was hiding in the living room on the shelf. I went into the living room but all I saw was a vase on the shelf. Grandma probably didn't know the game was over so I opened the vase to tell her. To this day she hasn't come out of the vase.

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beiber i straight

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What's brown a sticky? -A stick

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cheese

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I had a dream I watched Inception.

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when does the phrase "time heals all wounds" not apply? to people with fatal wounds.

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What is green but looks like a silver car? A silver car....I lied about the green part.

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What does a good joke get for Christmas? no laughs.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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What does chuck norris do at 4 o clock in the morning ? Sleep

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody. Nobody who?

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How did the guy drown if he wasn't in water? A shark threw up on him

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What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

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how do you know if a chinese man has been in you house? your homework is done

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has psychotic tendencies.

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CHEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

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What does a man like. food.

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Q: What is Paul's nickname A: His name is Paul, he doesn't need a nickname

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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