Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness ... Hello?

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Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

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What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

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What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

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A black guy and a Mexican jump off a bridge. Who dies first? Nobody cares.

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Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

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what do an elephant, a fishook, and a spaceship have in common? absolutely nothing

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Why Because

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How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

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Whats worse than a dead baby? 6 million dead Jews.

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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So Mel Gibson walks into a bar, and then everyone left.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

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A farmer goes out to the coop to feed the chickens. They're all dead.

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A man walked into a bar and suffered a mild concusion.

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A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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What has human male genitalia? A human male

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Hypothetical questions are a waste of time and you are not achieving your full potential by reading this during work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops