What do homeless people get for Christmas? Nothing, they are homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is green but looks like a silver car? A silver car....I lied about the green part.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between The Holocaust and baking pizza? Pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are shit Violets are my dick Guess what I do for a living? Sex with refrigerator monkeys!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the guy read anti jokes? because there funny

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Yo Mama is so fat cuz.. She has accumulated Obesity and needs your help to be rehabilitated due to the fact that she is at a high risk of heart attack, cancer, type 2 diabetes, and Etc. Try to motivate her to decrease food intake and increase physical activity. Thankyou

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why are haikus dumb Because they are just stupid Get it a haiku It is a haiku hashaha

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Is Carly smart? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock? Whose there? Who's. Who's who? No you used the wrong form of who's.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Situation: A bear is cutting a sunflower's hair Question: How many kangaroos does it take to do surgery on a meatball? Answer: Tomato. Because zebras eat twelve kiwis in a factory every February 29th.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Nicholas Cage

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the boy and girl do at the wedding? 69:)

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

when life gives you 100 reasons to cry, you should cry. you're lucky you haven't killed yourself at this point

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Satan called. I put him on hold.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Religion

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map. Maria: This is it. Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America? Class: Maria did.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how do you make sure someone is dead shoot them

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops