Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

If I have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, we both have the same monetary value.

Nickelback

Two black guys are in an elevator, one guy gets off at the sixth floor, and the other on the eighth. And thats it.

Your Momma's so fat when the whales see her they don't say anything as they are unable to speak the human language.

What will happen when a black person die they die

Why are mexicans such hard workers? I don't know.

did you hear about the sidewalk? its all over town.

Why shouldn't women wear watches? Because there's a clock on their cell phones.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas don't scream when you put them in the oven.

why did susie get hit by the bus? cause the bus driver wanted her ice cream

What do you call a woman who is good at driving? Danica Patrick

Knock Knock! Who's there? Osama Bin Laden. Oh wait...

God is religiously proven to be real

What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

Costello: Who's on first Joe Girardi: Mark Teixeira

Rebecca Black sings a song.

Whats the differance between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick into a chicks ass.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

What do yo call SQUIRAL!!!!

What do you get when you cross an owl with a bunge cord? My ass!

What's better than finding a worm in your apple? -The Holocaust

What's funnier than Mexicans? Whats funny about Mexicans?

What's the difference between a woman and a cat? Numerous things

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...