Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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How do you make a girl happy then sad within 5 seconds? Buy her a pony and then shoot it

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yo momma is so stupid she went to the beach and the whales song " dooooooonnn't stop. belieeeeving. wwwwwhoooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOA"

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Why can't stars marry? Because they are masses of incandescent gas and thus have no feelings.

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How do u save someone from dieing of cancer? U shoot them in the head

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 eight 9

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. Yes dyslexic people drink too.

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Think of a number between -1 and 1 That's how many friends you have

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Why was the black man happy? He got a raise.

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Why did the retard have no friends? Because somebody stitched his mouth and eyes shut so he couldn't be social.

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A: make me a sandwich woman! B: your a sandwich.

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Chuck Norris can fly around the world in under 2 days. In an airplane.

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If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

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A: What is worse than a melted chocolate bar. B: An eaten one.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Three jewish men are standing in at a bar. Its getting late and the bartender tells the three men its time to go home. As they walk out to the street, the bartender asks if they will be needing a ride home. Of course these three men had a few drinks, but did not live too far down the road, so they decided to walk. They pass the first mans house and he goes in to see his wife and three kids. They walk past the second mans house and he goes in to see his fiance leaving only one man left. He gets to his house, unlocks the door and goes inside only to find a note on the counter. He gets onto his computor and see that he forgot his wallet at the bar. He goes downstairs and walks out the door only to find himself falling into a giant pit. After falling for a while he starts thinking about his life. Then he remebered that he wasnt jewish.

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead are all trapped on a desert island. They work together and manage to survive until help arrives.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cos crossing the road usually doesn't work out too well for chickens.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Die bitch

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Jeff was a very hard working accountant, after a very long day he drove to burger king, he looked up at the menu and said to the lady. I'll have a burger please.

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Why was the blond looking at the orange juice box? Because she was reading the nutritional content of orange juice.

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some one knocked on tims door, at the same exact time, someone died in africa

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GooglePlus.

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So I walked upstairs and I told the guy, "No." And he then asks, "Why?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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