Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +63

hi im paul!

thumb_up thumb_down +59

what did rebecca say to sabrina ? CALL wass !!

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing, rocks are inanimate objects, therefore rendering them unable to participate in the activity of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did polly fall of her swing ??? She had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What's worse than the holocaust? The Russian Revolution

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What happened to the chicken who crossed the road ? Quite obviously he got to the other side to be greeted by a 50 foot half man half chicken who had one leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Fruitcake

thumb_up thumb_down +43

whats the difference between a pizza and a jew -a pizza is food

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Jimmy is a goldfish

thumb_up thumb_down +41

How can you avoid being hit by a car? Don't get in the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you call a monkey? A monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

"Oh yeah?!" "Yeah!" "You wanna go?!" "No, sorry. I got plans." (walks away)

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What type of movies do pirates watch? None they are on a boat!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A fat man walks into a bar. There is a 70% chance his mom is fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A women gets on a bus, the bus driver says 'that is the ugliest baby i have ever seen!' the women pays for her ticket and sits on one of the seats while the bus pulls off.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What smells like curry and bombs? A dead Indian

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Yo mama so fat even Dora couldn't explore her!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the man cross the inerstate? Well, he only got half way till he got hit by a truck, but he wanted to, it was suicide. oh ya, it wasnt a man it was a chicken. oh well. They are both dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops