Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but if you set him on fire, he'll die

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A women leaves the kitchen.

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Why are these jokes so funny? I don't know?

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Q: What has two wheels and is not funny? A:Ryan Vallee on a segway -Ryan V

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Guess what? You just lost the game.

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Ching Chong Chinaman sitting on a wall. Along came the white man and greeted him hello.

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If an iPad 2 is better than an iPad 1, than what's better than an iPad 2? An iPad 3

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So I was making this bagel right?And my dad walks in while I'm making this bagel(cause we're in a rush you know?) and he's yells"HURRY UP!!!!"I'm like man.... I sure do got alot of YELL in my bagel .

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What did the creepy old man do to the child? Took him to baseball practice

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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Knock Knock Dude i am not going to answer the door

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Q: why is the squirrel stuck in the tree? A: because he should have finished high school.

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Why was sally crying? she was sad

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy? Nothing.He's dead.

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What's black and blue and red all over? Due to the infinite nature of the universe many items both natural and manufactured could be described in this manner.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what can I get you?" The man replies "what do you recommend?" The bartender says "get a beer." The man says "okay."

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Whats blue and smells like grass? Boise States football field

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I used to be a Businessman like you, then I took a plane to the North Tower.

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So these two guys are in this barn f!@#$%^ this owl! no terms of service were available but i posted anyway cuz i just didnt want the best anti to be missed!

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What did my mom say when she walked in my room? You smell like body oder.

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Knock. Knock. Who's There? Its Jim, is Craig home? No he moved out sorry.

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Whats better than winning a gold in the special olympics? Not being a retard

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was mmfmffemuuuuuffuummuuuuuluuu.

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What's the differrence between a park bench and a black person... A park bench can support a family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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