Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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How do you make a black man cry? Kill his family

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When life gives you lemons you leave the earth in search of what strange lifeform sent you them.

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What do you get when you give a homeless man a sandwich? It thrown at the back of your head.

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Why'd the girl commit suicide? Because Justin Bieber admitted he was gay.

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If John has 50 candy bars, and he eats 45, how many cadybars does John have? Diabetes, John has diabetes.

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Do you think retarded people know that they are retarded? I don't know, you tell me. Wait a second....did you just call me retarded? They are clueless.

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What did the sexually promiscuous man get for Christmas? AIDS.

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why did the man come out of the closet? because the dark scares him and it smelled like moth balls

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justin littleton. nuff said

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Whats worse than a dead baby? 6 million dead Jews.

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Why shouldn't women wear watches? Because there's a clock on their cell phones.

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Tia is a dumb website. Turn 0ff blah

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The street outside of my house is covered in jelly. I have done this.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Gloves.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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What did the mother give her family for christmas? Nothing. The family is Jewish.

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14 people jump in a hole about 25 ft deep. they can't climb out because it is a straight vertical drop.

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Lacrosse

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What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

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25

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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