What did the mother give her family for christmas? Nothing. The family is Jewish.

Your mother gets so hungry, she eats.

What did the man say to his wife before they went to bed? Goodnight.

9:11 make a wish

You better run like your ass is under fire, because it will be if you don't.

How do I recover from my Pokémon addiction? Catch 'em All!

Whats the definition of helpless? A quadraplegic in a washing machine

Brienna Chladek (515)556-4811. Call me;) anytime I'm a teenager:) xoxo

Why did the hooker go to the bathroom? Because she just exchanged sex for money and was cleaning herself up for her next trick.

Q: What did Helen Keller say to the bartender? A: "I would like a bud lite please" it was a different Helen Kellar

Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

jack shine has boobs

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? One crawling out of the bottom licking its lips.

What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you'd die? A pool table.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? I don't cum on my watermelon before I eat it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I kicked it.

28

How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! It's not the coffee, you have a deadly case of ocular melanoma, a form of cancer that affects the eye. You'll be blind within the next 24 hours.

If life gives you melons.. You're just plain retarded.

how to you kill an Irish midget? You don't as murder is illegal and discriminating against a certain type of person is racist.

Baseball

Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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