What did the mother give her family for christmas? Nothing. The family is Jewish.

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How can you tell Egyptian Bees are tired? When they put down their suitcases and yell "IM Tired!"

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what do you call a fish with no gills? I dont know what youd call that creature...but its no fish.

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why is there a hole in the wall, i hope a prehistoric mole doesnt come out of that hole in the ball CC

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A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

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Why couldn't the Little Boy hear his mother yelling at him? Because his mothers died

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he's dead

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I don't hate you because you're fat. You're fat because I hate you

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Q: Why did the girl fall of her swing? A: She was hit by a rogue fridge. Q: Why didn't she get back up? A: She was quite badly injured.

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Freedom of Speech

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Q: How many dead people does it take to change a light bulb? A: Trick question...i have sex with them in the dark

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What did the robot say to the centipede? STOP BEING A CENTIPEDE!!!! It's funny cause the robot ain't got no arms.

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Nickelback

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I walked into a dark ally at night and ran into 2 black men They severely beat me then while unconscious brutally raped me. I then spent 5 weeks in the hospital in a deep coma.

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Whats the definition of helpless? A quadraplegic in a washing machine

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How do you know if you've been drinking too much? You find yourself in a closet screaming, "I'm in Narnia!!!"

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tim tebow is a great quarterback

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which of the following is right -the yoke is white -the yoke are white neither the yoke is yellow

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

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Why are white people typically not as good at basketball as black people? They don't have the hard work and dedication as those who are better.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas don't scream when you put them in the oven.

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What do you call a woman who is good at driving? Danica Patrick

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A: Want to hear a funny joke? B: Nah, I'm okay

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What's the difference between medicine and astronomy ? They're different fields of studies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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