Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bunge cord? My ass!

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Costello: Who's on first Joe Girardi: Mark Teixeira

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Miscarriages.

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Why was the farmer buried in a grave on the top of a hill? He had died and this would be his final resting place.

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how do you get a blue waffle? paint your vagina blue

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why did Suzy drop her ice cream? doesn't matter, why is she out of the kitchen.

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Why did the Jewish man kill his wife? Who cares.

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Person 1: Do you like impressions? Person 2: Yes! P1: Why? ... P1: That was Socrates.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a cat? Neither did she

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An Arab walks into a bar. He then blows up the bar.

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Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

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suck my a s s i hate mother f u c k e r s in my mother f u c k i n g crib

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Why couldn't the girl charge her phone? The charger wasn't plugged in.

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Love is in the air? Wrong. Nitrogen, Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.

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how do you make sure someone is dead shoot them

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What do you call an aircraft piloted by a Muslim extremist? The aircraft's brand name followed by its model number, in all likelihood.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

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You mamma's so fat that even Dora can't explore her!

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What do you call a young fortune teller who just escaped from jail? A small medium at large.

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Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

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Why did the 1,000 pound woman start crying? Because her son got hit by a car.

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knock, knock no one answers man goes home and shots himself because he feels alone

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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