I you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did lady gaga set her alarm? So she could get up in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Eliza eh? Of you I do not know but at least you used the correct code yourself, I suppose Nero7 kept your existence hidden from most of us for a reason. This "point Zero" is no more, about time people got out of the fucking north pole anyways, he was buried there, as his identity and existence is better off kept secret from the outside world for reasons many, none the less because if he is found and identified, undesired company might track whatever loose threads he might have left, straight back to us and we are not exactly operating within the parameters of... Legality anymore. Listen, if you want to know more give me the code straight out (I could not care less about deciphering shit right now and we are leaving horseshit network anyways) And I will tell you what Major6 knows, because as far as the screams roaming these halls can tell, he is still alive, you just better be fast, my men and women are not exactly experts at keeping these people alive... Yet, but enough idle chitchat. If you are who you claim to be, you should have the code I need, bring it, and I will present you with the neccesary information... ...Fail to do so, and I suggest that you never address any of us again fair lady, while we can simply not be tracked down, the security here is... Do I need to say? Neo-Nero.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

A dyslexic man walks into a bra but like he actually did not a bar a womens breats.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

What is the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry Potter escapes the chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down -101

A pornstar walks into a church, she has remained close to Christ despite her condescending career choice.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What does Mickey mouse do every day? Minnie mouse

thumb_up thumb_down +60

whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

One penguin says to another penguin, "It looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other penguin says, "Yea, I have to go to dinner party later."

thumb_up thumb_down +50

three men walk into a bar. they are immediately rushed to urgent care due to blunt force trauma

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why did the chicken cross the road Banana

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What do you call a Mexican mixed with a platypus? a pineapple

thumb_up thumb_down +50

I am black.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +44

69

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

thumb_up thumb_down +42

69

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A black guy and a Mexican jump off a bridge. Who dies first? Nobody cares.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

what do an elephant, a fishook, and a spaceship have in common? absolutely nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops