How do you wake up lady gaga? punch her in the dick.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why is the child screaming? Because he just woke up from a bad dream.

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What's the diference between an African guy and a lion? Nothing. But the lion will probably eat the African guy.

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Why did the man burp? Because gases escaped from his stomach and came out of his mouth.

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Three men died and were met at the pearly gates of heaven by St. Peter. Which not only proves that there is a heaven but that St. Peter actually does greet all of its new inhabitants at the entrance which is in fact marked by gates of pearl.

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Did you see that van with the word "Free Candy" painted on it? I'm also glad to see a successful entrepreneur capable of advertising free wares as an incentive to attract customers in such a recession. It's a great deal for both parties.

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How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

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"So, how's life in North Korea?" "Well, I can't complain."

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

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what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

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What's wrong with him? He lit the flashlight at both ends.

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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What do black men do in the South? Hang around

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Why did the chicken cross the road Banana

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Waseem likes to talk with his mouth full.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joseph Kony. Give me your children.

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why did the blond cross the road? she doesnt know either

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a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

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What was the latino gardener doing? Working hard to keep his job in these tough economic times.

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Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

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Hey! did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she...

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What is a girl with one leg called ( iliene )

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So what happened after 911?? What do you think?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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