Hello

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what did the man with no legs get for Christmas? A piano

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What is the difference between a man and a woman? Genitals

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What did the cheese say to his friend, who was also a cheese, before the cheese took a picture? ''Cheese''.

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What do you call a black person in a pool? A black person swimming.

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One time I was playing hide and seek with grandma but I couldn't seem to find her. I asked my sister for help and she told me she was hiding in the living room on the shelf. I went into the living room but all I saw was a vase on the shelf. Grandma probably didn't know the game was over so I opened the vase to tell her. To this day she hasn't come out of the vase.

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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Q: Why is winter the best season? A: It eliminates the homeless.

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i went to have a wank over anime as well yesterday, the i realised i dont have a penis. -adam fantuzzi

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Knock Knock. F uck off.

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Billy was walking along the sidewalk. He strayed into someone's yard. He got run over by a lawnmower because he couldn't see with the frog he had stapled to his face.

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when does the phrase "time heals all wounds" not apply? to people with fatal wounds.

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Why would you throw a hooker in a lake? To go fishing

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How come Jimmy didn't take his math test? Dead babies can't take math tests!

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What does a good joke get for Christmas? no laughs.

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#FEARtheFLAMINGOS

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Why wasn't Pat able to get an erection? Because Pat is a girl.

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Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

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what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped and left to die in the snow.

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What does chuck norris do at 4 o clock in the morning ? Sleep

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69

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Jack Oliver has a Bowl.

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What is x (4 - 10) + 6879 (333) x 678912345 - 9.87537 when x equals pi? Answer: YOUR FACE!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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