Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He had a heart attack

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did you hear about the sidewalk? its all over town.

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How many black guys does it take to change a lightbulb? None can, since noone can work together because they cant see eachother.

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A joke

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This one time at band camp....I put a flute in it's proper storage compartment.

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You know that you are going to fail horribly when... your purpose generally defeats the mission.

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George W. Bush

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Your Mamma is so poor that she begs for money.

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What do you call a dude dinosaur that's into other dude dinosaurs? A Bi-ceritops

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Three men walked into a metal pole

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what did the noob say to the gamer your a gamer nooob

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Knock, knock. Who's there? A black Russian.

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Excuses are like butt holes...they are round

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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i saw a garbage truck it had garbage in it

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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What break when you talk?

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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why was the kid named owen? Because thats what his parents wnted him to be named

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yo momma is so stupid she went to the beach and the whales song " dooooooonnn't stop. belieeeeving. wwwwwhoooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOA"

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I was having sex with my girlfriend the other night and she called me a pedofile. i told her that was a pretty big word for a 9 year old.

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What is yellow and sleeps alone? Yoko Ono.

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What do you call a old guy watching little kids in a pool? a life guard

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Why was the black man happy? He got a raise.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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