Why did sally fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative

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9/11

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What did the man say to his wife? Go make me a sandwich!

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What do you call a racist guy surrounded by a gang of black pepole? Dead.

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A man from florida and a woman from florida go to a restaurant, which isnt very popular.

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Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She was shot Knock knock Who's there? Sally Aren't you dead? Oh yeah K Well imma go be dead now Have fun K

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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A fat man walks into a bar. There is a 70% chance his mom is fat.

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Why did our black president put a porch swing on the white house? He likes to swing.

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Lacrosse

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4 out of 5 Americans make up 80% of Americans

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why did the boy buy a dirty magizine? he should not have, its been on the floor. who wants to read the rolling stone magizine if it has dirt on it. how dumb of him.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Roses are brown Violets are brown everything is brown Who shat in my garden?

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What happened when the princess kissed the frog? She died, the frog was highly toxic.

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9:11 make a wish

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My friend said that onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him with a watermelon.

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Why do people often give Jimmy strange looks? Because Jimmy has Down Syndrome

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Whats the definition of helpless? A quadraplegic in a washing machine

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting attacked by an evil demonic llama.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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