What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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9/11 was a shocking time for all of us.

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Thumbs this up

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Hello world

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how do you make sure someone is dead shoot them

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

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Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

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A: make me a sandwich woman! B: your a sandwich.

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A: What is worse than a melted chocolate bar. B: An eaten one.

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I you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped after getting raped.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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"I see" said the blind man to his dead wife

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how do you grow a choade? idk ask shea

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What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

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Whats red and is bad for your teeth? A brick.

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A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cos crossing the road usually doesn't work out too well for chickens.

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Character one: What did the blond say to the horse? Character two: you spelled blonde wrong.

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I am black.

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I used to love Christmas Until Santa woke me up and told me my dad didn't exist....

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

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why did the blond cross the road? she doesnt know either

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a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops