What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Six hasn't been the same since Vientnamn

thumb_up thumb_down -86

Yo mama so fat she was diagnosed with diabetes and now has to regulate her daily intake of foods.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Once upon a time there was a little puppy. He then grew old and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why was the blond looking at the orange juice box? Because she was reading the nutritional content of orange juice.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Is your refrigerator running? Because your dad just hung himself

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the man go to Chinatown? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

what's hard and pink going in a soft and wet coming out Gum

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A pregnant woman takes the bus, once inside she realizes that there are no seats. No one was pollite enough to let her sit down so she felt pretty uncomfortable on the way home.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you call a cow with big horns? A bull.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

whats slower then a turtle A FATTY

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the jew get for christmas nothing because he doesnt celebrate christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What is black, white, and red all over? Obviusly a sunburned panguin.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

nbjhfghl

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why....... Because.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A Black man walks out of a KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Women's Golf

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops