The government makes a good decision

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

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no

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Why did Hitler smell the flower? Chicken dick.

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What did Bobby get for Christmas? Nothing, Bobby is an orphan and has no friends.

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I am black.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

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Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

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What do you call a monkey? A monkey.

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If life throws you lemons Catch them

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why did every one in the world die? a Train pooped it's pants.

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What do you call a cow with big horns? A bull.

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Why did the man cross the road? He was obviously trying to get to his work, however he realized he was jaywalking in front of a cop and had to pay a fine and ended up being late to work.

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What do gay horses eat?........ Cheese

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

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I like to eat.

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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Whats worse than a dead baby? 6 million dead Jews.

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

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what are you eating under there? oh a sandwich, its actually really good.... want a bite? yea thanks! yum yum

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Q. What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name.

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That awkward moment were your giving your girlfriend a blowjob then you realize your giving your girlfriend a blowjob.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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