Why is one side of a geese formation heading south always longer than the other? It has more geese

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Shes dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

i like potatoes But only mashed baked are a little bad they arent tasty. I like food good because food bad can really hurt me

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's the worst thing about being homeless? Not having a home.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

You are the third derivative of the position function.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

what is white and sticky? glue.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

im jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Do you want to hear a joke? Sure. Justin Bieber is straight.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the man eat the apple? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why....... Because.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Two.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you do to a duck with no bill? Please, leave the duck alone, it's bad enough for him having no bill.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why does Michael Jackson like K-mart? He does not; he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: What is worse than loosing your arms? A: Dying

thumb_up thumb_down +31

what do you call someone that is dying of malaria? someone that should consider visiting a doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

there are two hicks named Billy Bob and Joe. Billy Bob decides to go to college so he goes to sign up for classes. The Dean of the school decides to help him out and tells him he will be taking math, writing, and logic. Billy Bob is okay with the math and writing but then asks "what the hell is logic?" The Dean thinks for a moment and then says "Okay for example, do you have a weedwacker?" Billy Bob says "yeah i got a weed wacker" so then Dean says "So that probably means you have a yard." Billy Bob goes "yeah i got a yard" So the Dean says "so if youve got a yard you've probably got a house." Billy Bob goes "hell ya i got a house!" The Dean says "and if youve got a house that probably means you've got a wife." Billy Bob goes "ya! i got a wife" so the Dean says "If you have a wife then that means you are heterosexual" and Billy Bob goes "of course im heterosexual!" So the Dean goes "See Billy Bob, thats logic." Amazed by this, Billy Bob goes back to Joe and starts to tell him about his classes. He explains he will be taking math, writing and logic. Joe is confused so he asked Billy Bob "what the hell is logic!?" Billy Bob thinks for a moment and goes "okay how can i explain this....okay joe, do you have a weed wacker?" and Joe responds "no Billy Bob i dont got a week wacker..." Billy Bob: "I KNEW YOU WAS A HOMOSEXUAL!"

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do a comb and a guitar have in common? Neither of them can climb trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why can't Hank swim? Hank is a rock

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Your life That's the joke

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops