What do you get when you cross an owl with a bunge cord? My ass!

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Miscarriages.

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Q. Why did the black man get sent to prison? A. Because he was falsely accused of murder.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? A black Russian.

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professor x walks over to wolverine with good news, he falls and dies of a severe concussion

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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how do you get a blue waffle? paint your vagina blue

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Q: where did the pickle live? A: In the desert

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How do you keep black people out of your back yard? Just like you would anyone else: buy a dog.

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What if Chuck Norris got shot by a bullet? The most interesting man in the world would save him.

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Yo momma is so dumb she... oh god, i'm so sorry, she was driving and she just looked down at her cellphone and there was a red light and all the cars were coming she didn't even stop oh god i'm so sorry.

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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Did you know Helen Keller had a cat? Neither did she

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suck my a s s i hate mother f u c k e r s in my mother f u c k i n g crib

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how do you make sure someone is dead shoot them

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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You mamma's so fat that even Dora can't explore her!

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Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

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What do you call a young fortune teller who just escaped from jail? A small medium at large.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I was eating an orange in the park last week when I saw four men brutally murdered before my very eyes.

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What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

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There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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