What's the best part about seventeen-year-olds? There's seven of them.

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Where was little suzie the day after the house fire? At the hospital, being treated for minor burns.

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What do you call a mexican sleeping in a car tired.

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Q:How do you make an accountant cry ? A: You kill his whole family

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A dyslexic pimp buys a warehouse.

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what do you call a fish with no gills? I dont know what youd call that creature...but its no fish.

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Were you born yesterday? Because I've got an erection...

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Why don't blind people skydive? They do.

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An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a pub where they are presented with a situation, the Englishman and Scotsman react appropriately but the Irishman does something foolish.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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How did two Jews react when they saw a quarter on the sidewalk? They agreed to donate it to charity.

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Why did the sixteen year old girl get an abortion? She didn't want the responsibility of raising a child

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what do Asian people eat? what Asian people eat.

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What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan

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Q: Why was the man hit by the train? A: He was tied to the rail road tracks...

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The WNBA.

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what do you call 4 terrorists going off a cliff in a car? A waist because you can fit 2 more in the trunk.

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What did the deer say to the hunter? If you shoot me i'll die.

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What did the dog say when his family's grandmother came back to life from the dead and ate everyone? Nothing. This is a highly improbable situation, and furthermore, dogs cannot speak.

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What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cats dont talk.

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A black succeeds

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How many black guys does it take to change a lightbulb? None can, since noone can work together because they cant see eachother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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