A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

What's big, black, wide, long, and has white lines all over it? A new highway road.

Why was the little boy's head so big? He had a tumor in his brain.

Who is Soulja Boy's best friend? YOUUUUUUUUUUUU

Thumbs this up

poop.........

An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a Coke.

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

knock, knock no one answers man goes home and shots himself because he feels alone

why did the sock go to kroger cause he was laying on the couch

What's the problem with blonde people? They don't have black hair.

Hi Danny it's Louis Tehe

what do you call a pizza with a lot of jalapenos. spicy.

How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

An underaged man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, but the bartender says we don't serve minors. The boy then rushes out if the bar for fear of being caught.

What is the best thing about having sex with twenty-seven year old's? There's twenty of them

What happened to the chicken who crossed the road ? Quite obviously he got to the other side to be greeted by a 50 foot half man half chicken who had one leg.

Why did the little girl fail her test? She had mental retardation.

What side of the cheetah has the most spots? -The outside.

Your mom is so fat, her pants are starting to get tight.

what's worse than two dead babies? three dead babies.

A boy and a girl are playing catch. Why did the girl drop the ball? She had no arms. So why did the boy throw her the ball if she had no arms? Cause he's a Dipshit

Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

Why did the man cross the road? He was obviously trying to get to his work, however he realized he was jaywalking in front of a cop and had to pay a fine and ended up being late to work.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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