Roses are red Violets are blue I have candy GET IN THE VAN NOW BEFORE SOMEBODEY SEES US!

Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

Why don't you have a seat, over there?

Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

Women rights.

Q How do you make pie. A You cook it

Shit.

A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot turned into a loaf of bread.

Why did Michael Jackson like 24 year olds? Because they are apart of humanity and he had no reason to dislike them.

Yo mama so fat even Dora couldn't explore her!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it damn well felt like it.

What what In the butt

What happened when a black man's phone went off? He answered it.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

Why does your mom moan and scream at night? She had a rough childhood, filled with all types of despair and disappointment.

whats stupid, retarded, and dumb an Erin Perri.

a black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving the car? the owner of the car.

What is worse but similar to Jenga? The September 11th attacks.

Where was little suzie the day after the house fire? At the hospital, being treated for minor burns.

Where did little Annie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

A dyslexic man walks into a bar He sits down and has some trouble reading the menu but orders a beer

What's worse than losing your job? Getting brutally sodimized and murdered by a serial rapist.

An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a pub where they are presented with a situation, the Englishman and Scotsman react appropriately but the Irishman does something foolish.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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