Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock Who's There Fat white lady with dreadlocks Fat white lady with dreadlocks who? want to buy some girls scout cookies?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the kid with turrets CHEESE! say to his mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q:What happened when the bear walked into the bar? You cannot answer because you were seriously injured by the bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What more orange that a lime? Most things.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

when life gives you lemons throw them away.. they are probably bad

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats then difference between a jew and a pizza ? A pizza doesnt scream when its put in the oven .

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Pain Olympics.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many TV shows are there? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops