How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

My cat just died.

A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

Whats the difference between a black guy at the beach, and a black guy at the zoo? One is at the beach, and one is at the zoo.

What did the spoon say to the other spoon? Nothing, it is a spoon.

i want to watch t.v, how do u turn it on? idk, do u know how? idk either, i cant see or hear then y do u want to watch t.v wuts a tv?

Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

Three men are on a plane (note this is a low altitude plane) they're are going on they're 2nd grizzly bear hunting trip in Alaska. they crash into a mountain and all die. except the pilot. he left the wreckage and died from the freezing temperatures of an Alaskan winter.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!!!! lolooloL!OL!olO!LO!Lo!l!LO!L!O11P!lOL!oO!l

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...