What do you call an armless, legless man hanging on a wall? Art.

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Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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ASUS Live Update has stopped working.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

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A rapist walks into a bar He orders a drink He wakes up the next morning naked on a hot chick He leaves not realizing that he is nude and is promptly escorted by the police to jail

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How did the mexican die while fixing a lightbulb? He fell off the ladder.

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There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

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Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

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What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

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How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

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i have a black man in my family tree. i am 25% african american among several other ethnicities.

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

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Why didn't the plane crash... because of the wight male piloting it

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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