A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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Q: What did the chicken cross the road? A: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" is a common riddle or joke in several languages. The answer or punchline is: "To get to the other side." The riddle is an example of anti-humor, in that the curious setup of the joke leads the listener to expect a traditional punchline, but they are instead given a simple statement of fact. "Why did the chicken cross the road?" has become largely iconic as an exemplary generic joke to which most people know the answer, and has been repeated and changed numerous times.

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Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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Person 1: want to hear a joke? person 2: yes.

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because chad makes babies cry.

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How do you stop a black person from drowning?.. Take your foot off his head

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They beat her mercilessly.

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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who would win in a gang battle? WEST COAST SWAG

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i wonder who made this website? a human

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Waseem is such a hard worker on Anti Joke all day.

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

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What's the same about a clown and a knife? They are both fun, except for the clown. I hate clowns.

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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What's special about an Irish Parachute ? It's made in Ireland.

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What's small, white, and it killed Bruce Lee? Aspirin.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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