What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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How do you drown a blonde? Weigh her down and throw her into a body of water.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy??? Just different pigmentation of their skin.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Two giant paint bubbles!

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Q: What was the name of the armless elf in Snow White? A: Stumpy

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How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

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I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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How do you stop an aboriginal from drowning? Take your foot off his head...

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a white man a black man and an asian man had a few drinks at a bar. they all died from alcohol poisoning

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Were both dogs!

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Do you knpow why Michael Jackson is not dead? Dumbass, he IS dead...

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night and realized that his house was being robbed.

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What happens when Chuck Norris and Mr. T get into a car accident? They trade insurance information.

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Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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a man ran into a bar screaming. he now has a severe coma

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender, upon seeing him, asks him to leave. The black man is enraged by the blatant racism shown by this man, and proceeds to punch the bartender repeatedly. After 5 minutes of non-stop punching the man stops, looks at his victim, and is filled with remorse. He is dead. Upon looking around, the black man notices scaffolding and building equipment scattered around the room. He falls to the ground as he realizes the bar is still under construction, and unable to serve customers this early in development. The bartender was simply asking the man to leave for his own safety.

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Moby Stick, the Great White Twig

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Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? A: "Here come the elephants over the hill!"

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Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion...

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So the man goes to the doctor and the doctor tells the man " you will have to quit masturbating " So the man asks " why" And the doctor said " so I can examine you "

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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