Two Irish men walk in to a bar. Or maybe it was three. It's actually quite a common occurrence here in Dublin.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the dog cross the road? To eat the chicken. Why did the police officer cross the road? To tranquilize the dog and the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the boy jump off a cliff Because he was gay and committed suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is the difference between a black person and a pizza? Nothing, they both taste like chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

thumb_up thumb_down -1

roses are red violets are blue polar bears are white grass tends to be green

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He orders a beer with two cubes of ice. The bartender ask why does he want two cubes of ice. The guy doesn't answer. He finishes his beer and proceeds to go home safely because he was not intoxicated.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a white van was driving really slow and he stopped in front 3 children. "do you want some candy" the old man said. the kids took the candy and the old man drove away happily, knowing he made someones day.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

thumb_up thumb_down -3

whats bad about being black and jewish they have to sit in the back of the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -3

my rhyme is sicker than the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -3

But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between a Jew and a Paki? Nothing, they're both as bad as each other.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a rapist

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the homeless man decide it was time to get off the streets? He wanted to save face.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops