What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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A dancer walks into a barre

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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what did the man with Alzheimer's say to his son? who are you!?

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Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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A Hispanic man, an African woman, and a Caucasian man walk into a bar. No one wins this round of "Racial Equality Appreciation Day's" game of limbo.

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So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

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A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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