Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? One has a slightly darker skin complexion

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is the worse joke to tell a Orpahn Knock Knock Whos there not your parents

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A my dog was a rappa. He recorded a hit. But it had no lyrics, because he is a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

So a man walks into a bar, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Your mother is so fat that when she looks in the mirror she is deeply upset by her appearance.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Three ethnic minorities walk into a bar, and each does something involving alcohol that confirms a negative stereotype about his subgroup.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops