Q. Why didn't the Hero rescue the princess? A. Because he crunched some numbers, realized the incredible odds against him, and decided against it.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

WHat did the Somalian girl get for Christmas? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -28

a man walks into a house... then realizes its not his house and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q Whats the difference between a pich fork with watermelons and a pitch for with dead babies stuck on. A The pitchfork with the dead babies were severly shot in the kidneys and then the heart. Blake

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

thumb_up thumb_down -36

roses are red violets are blue wendy williams looks like a man roses are red violets are blue i coach penn state pull down your pants

thumb_up thumb_down -38

what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was Johnny so mad at his father? Because his father had a constant drinking problem and was very abusive.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Tim: Ya know what was wondering? Paul: What? Tim: Actually, I'm not wondering about it anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did Billy get his dad for Father's day? Nothing, his dad was killed by a spinning helicopter blade when Billy was 3.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops