What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

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why was the postman sad? because ran over a small child with his truck

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There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

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A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

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a one fingered leper was sitting one day on the beach playing cards. When a stranger asked to play,hide and go seak. well the oner finger leper licked his invisible finger and said "which ways the winds blowing pete. .-poot-

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Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

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Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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A man walked into a bar. He got drunk and left.

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Q. What is the best way to suicide? A. Kill yourself.

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Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

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Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

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Person 1: Why does food from Subway taste so good? Person 2: I don't know, why? Person 1: Because their ingredients are fresh. Person 2: Um, OK? Person 1: Yeah, it's all under 18. Person 2: Shit...

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what's the difference between your grandmother and a dead squirrel? Technically, if you burn them both, your grandmother will produce more ash, but apart from that, they are both useless pieces of carbon.

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why was the little boy crying? He had dead mice shoved up his asshole.

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Your mother is so fat that occasionally she'll have more than one serving of preserves on her toast in the morning

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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What is a gremlin's favorite snack? Gremlins aren't real.

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What did the White guy say to the balck guy? "How are you?"

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A- 2 jews walk in a bar..what happed? B- they died 35 years later from skin cancer

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What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

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A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Billy and Jeff wanted to go on an adventure so they planned a safari in Africa. Everything was going as planned until they were in a sticky situation: whether to cross a narrow bridge above the crocodiles or not. Billy tells Jeff "Hey whats the worst thing that can happen?" Jeff was diagnosed with cancer and died the next morning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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