Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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Brain fart

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what did the girl say after her boyfriend proposed? she said no because they've still got a lot of stuff to deal with before they even consider getting married and he seriously needs to get a job and dump his other girlfriend.

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why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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Roses are red, and many other colors too.

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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Why did the black man go to the back of the bus? The only unoccupied seats were back there.

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

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A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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