Why did the burglar rob the bank? because he needed money due to the economic decline.

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You are the third derivative of the position function.

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husband; do you come here often wife: i live here

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What runs faster than a dead baby? Almost everything.

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if life gives u lemons....chuck them back and say u wanted muffins instead!!!!!!!!!!!

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im jewish

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nbjhfghl

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How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

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The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

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So Mel Gibson walks into a bar, and then everyone left.

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what is white and sticky? glue.

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Q:What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? A: It varies. But most dental offices are open for service between 8am and 4pm

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What do you call a cool pig? SPIDER-PIG!!!

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I won the game.

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why are elephants gray? to tell them apart from blueberries.

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Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

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There once was a genie With a sevenfoot weenie And he went to the lady next door She thought it was a snake So she hit it with a rake And then he murdered the shit out of her.

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Q: How many babies does it take th paint a barn? A: I dunno, how hard are you throwing them?

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What do you do to a duck with no bill? Please, leave the duck alone, it's bad enough for him having no bill.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinson's Disease which causes his hands to shake uncontrollably thus making drawing anything relatively difficult and a perfect circle impossible.

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a banana

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What do you call a racist guy surrounded by a gang of black pepole? Dead.

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Knock knock Whos there? D D who D's nuts!

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The size of Idris Elba's penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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