Your Momma’s muscle to fat ratio can only be explained in irrational complex numbers.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the rapist say when he spotted the young girl? I am going to rape you!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

When is a joke funny? When you read it.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: Why do Jews have big noses? A: Because air is free!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

A dyslexic man sells his soul to Santa.

thumb_up thumb_down -123

your matriarchal component is so overweight that her body mass index is over the desired level for her height and age

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What do you call a Mexican mixed with a platypus? a pineapple

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing, rocks are inanimate objects, therefore rendering them unable to participate in the activity of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Kate

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

why do asian people eat each other? because they are cannibles

thumb_up thumb_down +44

husband; do you come here often wife: i live here

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's worse than being named Troy Merrill? Being Black.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A black guy walks in to a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Roses are read Violets are not green Chicken is good KFC baby, time to get lean

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, and have a stimulating discussion about economics

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Roses are red, Violet are blue. I just thought I'd let you know, But don't worry- this isn't a poem.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

That's what he said.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops