How do you keep black people out of your back yard? Just like you would anyone else: buy a dog.

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Q: What did the man with no arms and no legs receive for Christmas? A: Cancer

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What if Chuck Norris got shot by a bullet? The most interesting man in the world would save him.

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how do you make sure someone is dead shoot them

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender, a known drug smuggler for the Mexican Cartel fires three shotgun rounds. As the bartender reloads Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks first the shotgun out of the man's hands followed by three very quick blows to the head. The bartender goes down unconscious and he is arrested. Though the program is no longer produced, Walker Texas Ranger was a somewhat enjoyable, although poorly written and low budgeted made for television action crime drama series produced from April 21, 1993 to May 19, 2001.

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Love is in the air? Wrong. Nitrogen, Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Paris. Paris who? Paris, France.

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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Why did Suzy drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Suzy!

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Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map. Maria: This is it. Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America? Class: Maria did.

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What's grosser than gross? Grosser. What's grosser than that? Grossest.

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Just one.

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There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Six hasn't been the same since Vientnamn

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what happened to the mexican who dropped his ice cream at work? He got a raise, won the $5 billion jackpot, was given ten car dealerships, then died.

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Jack and Jill went down the hill. And were lost and burnt in hell.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Die bitch

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What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

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Is your refrigerator running? Because your dad just hung himself

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throbbing slobber

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How do you check that you are not dreaming, but in actual fact, you are wide awake? Try to bite off our finger (this is actually possible, but the brain does not allow you to do it).

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what's hard and pink going in a soft and wet coming out Gum

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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