Why does LeBron James keep his phone on vibrate? Because he is often in the company of others and he does not want a ringtone to distract others from the current topic of discussion.

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What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

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why do anti jokes suck???? Because CC is Jewish and rapes orphan squirrels EJ

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knock knock come in

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a duck walked into the 7-11, grabbed a slurpee and told the man at the register, "put it on my bill". But the man behind the counter was Indian, and could not understand what the duck was saying. The duck then walked out confused, wondering why he was buying a slurpee in the first place

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what's the difference between babies and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

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your family is so poor that you require healthcare to recieve money

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? the pizza wont scream when you put it in the oven.....

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? ...

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A mushroom walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We don't serve your kind." the mushroom asked why, the Bartender said, "Because your under aged"

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what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped covered in semen.

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Your mom is so fat she beat up snorlax from pokémon, than got charged for abbuse because it is illegal to use physical violence on pokémon unless in a battle or in attempt to capture one.

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All of these jokes suck. Just saying.

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wanna hear a really funny joke? sure women's rights.

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Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

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Want to hear a joke? Womens rights

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Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

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Love is in the air? Wrong. Nitrogen, Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.

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What's more satistfying then good sex? A nice loud, stinky fart.

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why were there moans coming from the sandusky household Mike sandusky, was having sex with his beutiful wife, maria meanwhile Mike's cousin, jerry was sitting in a jail cell

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How do you stop a bus? Put the brakes on.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra but like he actually did not a bar a womens breats.

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A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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