There once was a man from Nantucket Whose name was Mike

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When is a joke funny? When you read it.

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There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

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Roses are Red, violets are blue, I have STD, Now so do you. :3

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Why do mexicans jump the gate Because theres a sale at chipotle

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What's a four letter word that ends with "rape"? Stop.

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A man buys free health care...

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Two black people passed me in an alley at night...... They said hi

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How do you make a bowl of cheese? First you get a bowl. Then insert the cheese.

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What do you call a Mexican who steals a car? A criminal.

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How do you check that you are not dreaming, but in actual fact, you are wide awake? Try to bite off our finger (this is actually possible, but the brain does not allow you to do it).

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why do asian people eat each other? because they are cannibles

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What's worse than being named Troy Merrill? Being Black.

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A purple kangaroo hops into a bar. There is no such thing as a purple kangaroo. The end.

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Q:What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? A: It varies. But most dental offices are open for service between 8am and 4pm

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I man walks into a bar. He got drunk.

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Child Prostitution.

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What's more boring than watch grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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What did the jew get for christmas nothing because he doesnt celebrate christmas.

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Why Because

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A farmer goes out to the coop to feed the chickens. They're all dead.

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Man: Drink this. Man 2: Ok. (Drinks it) Man; You drank a powerful substance that is 20000 times stronger than hydrochloric acid! Man2: Oh FUCK! Kelvin Yang.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

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-What do you get when you graph the division of x by the square root of 69? - I don't know, what? -I was asking you, as my family's low economic status hinders my ability to buy a graphing calculator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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