- Anti Joke

Your mom is so fat, she had a heart attack and died. It was very sad and she will be missed.

How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

Whats cold and frozen? ice

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferarri? I don't have a ferarri in my garage.

Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

What would Jesus say if he was alive today? “Nehwê tzevjânach aikâna d'bwaschmâja af b'arha.”

The closest I've been to an animal charity was when I walked past it to by myself a fur coat

What do you call a discrase of a living enviorment? African huts there so muddy

What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Women's rights.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

What do lawyers and sharks have in common? They both play vital roles in their own society or ecosystem.

Once upon a time, in a magical kingdom, there were too many similar jokes on anti-joke.com. One man thought he could be funny by writing a joke that referenced this, and be even funnier by referencing what he was referencing. Then he referenced that, then that, and so on until the layers of meta caused his brain to explode. Some of it landed in your mother's vagina.

what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

A japanese man enters a Honda dealership and is approached by an eager salesman. The salesman shows him a few models and then asks him curiously "What do they call Honda in Japan?" The japanese man answered "Honda"

How you know when dislextic

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

What do you call a spoiled black daughter? Tiana (Disney Princess)

Roses are red Im adopted

What do you call a woman with one leg? I don't know. I am not in the position, currently, of knowing anyone who finds themselves in such an unfortunate condition.

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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