A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Bark.

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Whats the difference between a baby in a comma and an iPod? I actually use the baby.

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Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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what happened to the retarded dyslexic? he retard on his 60th birthday and took up gardening.

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if u ever get arrested by cop, just tell the cop this: "No no officer, you got it all wrong. It was only a game. It's called RAPE."

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

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Q:How can you tell an asian has just robbed your home? A: You took the necessary precautions to purchase a very high quality security system and you caught the whole thing on tape, and the man was arrested.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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What is blue and has to deal with a vagina. Blue waffle you know who has that Jews But the jews got it from the gassing and the gassing got it from hitlers wifes piss but the blue waffle came from the lesbian she had sex with when she was doing her lesbian phase but the lesbian got it from her father and the father got it from his wife.

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Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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