why did the chicken cross the road it didnt it got eaten

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

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What did the spoon say to the other spoon? Nothing, it is a spoon.

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So a crippled guy rolls into a bar..

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What do a pizza man and a gynecologist have in common? They are both hardworking members of the community!

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Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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A gay man goes out with a butch lesbian and develops a loving relationship, years later they get married and have kids, adopting them from the local orphanage and lives happily ever after.

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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In Soviet Russia, people commonly suffered under the might of the communist juggernaut. It was unpleasant.

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why did the black man get fired? In this economy businesses are downsizing and outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor.

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A dead zebra

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops