Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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your mammas so big that she needs paint rollers to put on lipstick

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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A apple is red a banana is to never mind that joke sucks

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Yo mama's so poor that she's living in poverty.

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

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Why did the chicken fall down? Because it wanted to have fun

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How do you know a black man's been in your backyard? If you throw a barbecue and your friends of African-American descent decide to bring cold cuts.

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what are you talking about. Nets are terrible. Lakers are going to be the best.

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You haven't happened to see a cigarette truck around here have you? What's a truck?

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

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A black man is driving down the road in a van, and pulls up to a little a girl and says excuse me Miss. The girl replies Ok Ok I will get the car just dont hurt me The black guy says I dont want you to get in my van im taking your mom on a date.

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Well, you need to develop a particular mindset, and while scienTITS claim that its not logical so it does not work... Well, SUGAR, thing is that the mind and emotions, cannot be explained logically either. Let me expand your mind (if I have not already) A astronomer meets up with a brain surgeon, the Astronomer says to the brain surgeon: I do not believe in god. Why? says the brain surgeon. Because I have studied most of the outer space and never found seen any trace of God.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

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How do you scare a little boy? You tell him everyone he loves was shot to death by you and then kick his guardian .

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Q: What does a really poor kid say to his friends? A: I hate over working for 75 cents an hour...

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How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

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why was the fat man excercizing? because he was a fatass and no one liked him

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what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

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There is an American, a Mexican, and a Muslim on a plane They give the American the 1 parachute and the Mexican and the north koreon explode

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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Why? Because.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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