Ask me if I'm an orange? Are you an orange? No.

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roses are red violets are blue ill keep u in my heart forever and ower baby to

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"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

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What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Yo momma's so hot I raped her and slit her throat afterwards and hid her body in a ditch.

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What's sad about a truck passing behind a duck? A: Behind the Duck were the Ducklings.

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Listen Supervisor, this is Agent Clarke of the GOV and the WHO, I suggest you respond ASAP, I suggest you put set me in touch with either Lady, or Axel Knight right away, this is a matter of your personal security.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

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Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7 was a scary dude.

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You know whats funny about 9/11? Nothing.

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What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

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What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn't quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family's murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family's killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer's whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers' home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers' body-gaurds, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Froghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Froghorn's life didn't, and wouldn't, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him "You're finally home Ralph, you're finally home."

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Why do people make jokes about cancer? Oviously to get thier ass kicked!!! -BY:KOLBY HOOKS

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why did scooba steeve loose his flippers? because his head imploded after reaching an extremley high pressure point at the bottom of the ocean. unable to live, his memory was a bit less persistant.

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A loving father took his two children to the park for a picnic. while the children went into the lake for a swim he drowned them both

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Where do babies come from? You fathers penis.

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

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A gay man,a black woman,a seven year old child,a liberal,an atheist and an asian walk into a building. A hijacked plane flies into the tower they were in and kills them all on a cold September morning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops